“Rough Cut Feedback
Level 1 0–23 marks—The work for the main task is possibly incomplete. There is minimal evidence in the work of the creative use of any relevant technical skills.
Level 2 24–35 marks—There is evidence of a basic level of ability in the creative use of some of the following technical skills
Level 3 36–47 marks—There is evidence of proficiency in the creative use of many of the following technical skills:
Level 4 48–60 marks—There is evidence of excellence in the creative use of most of the following technical skills:
• using titles appropriately. (proficient)—titles have been used; the seem a little squashed; make sure they are used correctly (just name and job title); have the correct number of them; the opening Jupiter Production logo should come-up after a couple of seconds of the sound, stay on the screen for two seconds and then fade away; they have the atmospheric sound for a bit; then fade into the opening image of the bear; do we get the title of the movie??
• shooting material appropriate to the task set; (proficient)—the sound, mise en scene (character actions) and the use of camerawork that directly leaves the girl out of the opening shots establishes this a thriller; more could be done to establish the sinister nature of the bear.
• holding a shot steady, where appropriate; (excellent)—mostly good; some wobbles on the shot with the tea cup; consider adding a stabiliser; look on YouTube to see if this option is available on YouTube.
• framing a shot, including and excluding elements as appropriate;–(excellent) no real issues here; some shots have been brilliantly framed; however, the squeezing if titles into small areas doesn’t seem to make sense; aim for simplicity.
• using a variety of shot distances as appropriate; (proficient/excellent)—the intimacy of the shots works; however, there are too many of them (meaning, shots); this prevents the pace from really moving forward the narrative; consider axing 45 and 105; is the tea cup needed; despite saying the above, this is a real strength of this piece; the shot where the camera pans down seems to have no purpose; the shot of the girl’s lips speaking is slightly unsettling; however, this isn’t a great problem.
• selecting mise-en-scène including colour, figure, lighting, objects and setting;–(proficient)—the colour is slightly dark; the selection of props is fine; why does she leave one slice of bread in the bin under the table?
• using sound with images and editing appropriately for the task set; (proficient)—diegetic and non-diegetic sound is mostly good; there has been a lot of effort to adjust sound levels; these have been mostly blended well; however, when you listen to it with headphones, the quality of diegetic sound needs to be treated to get rid of the static; this may not be possible however; I think more can be done with sound; for example, when the tension rises with the bear talking; I think this needs to be developed and treated with upmost respect and skill. A foley was used once to signify anger/tension…make this a motif.
• editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer; (proficient)—the pace needs to pick up and shots, on the whole need to be trimmed; the actual tea part set-up could use a good edit (cut 2-3 seconds); shots, as noted above, must be deleted; the last shot cuts out too soon…we need to see her facial expressions; cur the ‘multiple close-ups of the knife’.
• using varied shot transitions and other effects selectively and appropriately for the task set; (proficient)—see above; the closing shot might fade to the title.
Overall, this is a mid proficient rough cut. There is real potential there. The main area is the editing (pace); however, the development of the sinister bear through parallel editing and reaction shots is also a way to make this sequence better reflect a thriller. Be careful, however, not to make this into a short film. Thus, think about what would happen next and where the sequence would go. As I write this, I can’t help but think of the closing image being the girl, mid decapitating the bear’s head, looking up…she has been caught in the act.
Doing some parallel editing with the mother would help develop tension. 42/60
JDU”
Research into potential target audience
Class Feedback on our Second Rush
After we had completed our second rush, we were asked to present it to the class. As with our last rush, we were given feedback on it. Below, you can see some of the comments we got from our classmates and media teacher.
Blog feedback
We met with our teacher to discuss our work so far on our blog. We identified which area’s of our blog are successful and where we could improve our blog. This is what we found:
![photo[4]](https://jupiterproductionsmedia.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/photo4.jpg)
Feedback from 1st Rush
After we had finished our first rush, we were asked to present it to the class, and recieve feedback from both our teacher and classmates. In general the feedback we recieved was positive, although there were several areas in which we could improve, the main feedback points we were given were:
- Camerawork was sometimes shaky
- Close up of dolls eyes supported genre well- it was creepy and invasive
- Alternative opening was preffered to original scripted plan
- Arrangement of the 3 toys next to each other- superficial, they should be more strewn across the floor or in a toybox
- Panning shot did not work with the other shots we had
- The titles used and their placement was consistent and effective
- Music was effective; but it could be built up at different points and faded out
- The tilt shot of dolls plait was popular with our tested audience
- The shots had a good flow to them, they were all close up shots, which made for an intimate environment
- The combination of movement and still shots, proved to be popular
- The props chosen, were realistic and came in adherence to our chosen genre
For our next rush, we plan to replicate the sequence in which our protagonist is setting up the tea-party for herself and her teddy bear. Again, we hope to stick to the shooting script we have already written for this scene, but we will shoot some extra shots from different angles just in case. To eliminate some of the problems suggested above, we will aim to shoot the majority of our shots on a tripod or to try and shoot them with as steadier hand as possible. Additionally, it is likely that we will spend more time on the sound aspect of this project, given the fact that this section of our film will involve many foley’s as the girl sets up her tea-party. We will also film this Rush at Megan’s house, on location and thus would expect it to be more representative of what our final piece will look like thanour last rush. Filming on location will also help us to get a sense of the positioning of both actors and props within our film and the effects that they might have.
What did we learn from our Anamatic feedback
Following the exhibition of our Anamatic we have received feedback from our target audience.
Narrative:
General story was easily understood
Clear sense of character was conveyed
Camera:
Intimate close ups are popular
Good variety of shots
Good use of pans
Editing/ camera angles could be too jumpy
Could use of POV shot from the bear
More close ups on pins
Make movement reflect state of mind
Sound:
Music needs to esculate
Good contrast of diegetic and non-diegetic
Good use of foley’s
Possibly could use childlike music e.g. Nursery rhyme
Layer more sounds
Mise-en-scene:
Props create a good atmosphere e.g. bear and tea party
Show more location
Spend more time on pins and scissors
Genre:
Atmosphere can be confusing – not consistent enough
Music adheres to horror genre
More hints at unsettling behaviour e.g. more shots of pins and voices
Titles:
Positioning is good
Need to think about font and colour
Anamatic feedback
After showing our Anamatic to our class we collected feedback on the following areas:
Sound
Camera work
Editing
Mise-en-scene
Narrative
Titles
Feedback on our Pitch
After pitching our idea to the entirety of our media class, this was the written feedback that we received from our media teacher
Pitch
We had to pitch our idea to the rest of the class to get feedback and understand what our target audience think of our idea.
http://prezi.com/zf6qyvnjt4cf/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy&rc=ex0share
This is the script we used to present our idea:
Esther – We want to create a psychological horror opening title sequence. We have carried out research such as analysis of past student examples of horror sequences, existing horror title sequences, horror film posters and the conventions of the horror genre to ensure that our sequences supports the features of the this genre. Our target market is teenagers and our sequences should appeal to this audience. As teenagers ourselves we should be able to understand what this audience will enjoy. For the storyline we are developing we need a small cast of four and we would like to find an original soundtrack for the sequence, either from copyright free websites or contact with an unsigned artist.
Megan – We have carried out market research in preparation for the creation of this sequence. We made an online questionnaire which contained questions about favourite genres of film and other similar topics. From the results of this questionnaire we chose our target audience and genre. We also found a pre –existing online poll which contained a list of popular film title sequences. We analysed these sequences to try and see what it was that made them so popular and we hope to incorporate some of these features in our sequence.
Esther – The storyline we are developing at the moment is about a seemingly normal family. The sequence would begin with our main character, a teenage girl waking up in the morning. Using convention of the genre we would hint at something not quite normal, jump cuts and eerie music or cut away’s to letters from a psychiatrist. The character would interact briefly with her sister and mother but at the end of the sequence, when mentioning her sister to the mother, her mother would reveal that she has no sister and a cut to her sister covered in blood would end the sequence. We want to titles to appear subtly and superimpose the shots throughout.
Megan – Our idea is loosely based on the psychological disorder Schizophrenia- which we may suggest that the main character has/shows symptoms of. We have done some research into Schizophrenia for our opening sequence. Symptoms include hallucination -in this case it will be her sister, behaviour changes, delusions and the inability to distinguish between their imaginings and reality. The idea of imaginary friends or personas is not something that is uncommon within horror films and by including this within our film opening, we will be conforming to the Horror genre. Other horror films that feature imagined personas are ‘The Shining’, ‘Don’t look under the bed’ and ‘The Exorcist’.
Esther – The theme of Schizophrenia and furthermore the idea of imagining a persona also exists in the psychological thriller/horror ‘Psycho’. In which Norman Bates, believes his dead mother is still alive and even goes as far as taking on her own personality. This story is based on events within the life of Ed Gein, an infamous murderer, whose life has also influenced other horror films such as ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, ‘Leatherface’, ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ and the character of ‘Bloody Face’ from the second series of ‘American Horror Story’.
Megan – Here is a list of the minimum requirements that we know we will need to make the sequence we have planned. This should cover all elements of the production of our sequence.
Esther – This is how we will get all of our requirements needed to make our sequence, most of which are already available to us excluding cast and music which we will find online.
Megan – So what now? From here we plan to create a story board, shooting script and script. We will then practice the horror make up and lighting. Then we will use casting call to cast our sequence and contact the actors we will choose. From there we plan to shoot the sequence, find copyright free music and edit the sequence. Thank you.
Horror title sequences -Editing
Following my research into existing products and other student work I have compiled my findings together and split it into the four key areas; mise-en-scene, camera work, sound and editing.
Horror title sequences – Camera work
ollowing my research into existing products and other student work I have compiled my findings together and split it into the four key areas; mise-en-scene, camera work, sound and editing.
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