In our last media lesson as a class, we reviewed each others Rough Cut videos. This involved us showing the fully exported clips twice through and then hearing what people had to say about them. In general the feedback was positive with classmates particularly liking:
- The choice of actors- Willow was deemed to be well suited to the role of ‘Sasha’ and Declan (the drama student who voiced the bear) was rated as being ‘haunting’ and ‘perfectly indicative of the genre’
- In general the steadiness of the camera was rated as being good
- Mise en scene worked very well, and particularly the choice of props was good (specifically the bear)
- The narrative, as it made sense and did not reveal too much, until its conclusion, being thus a good example of a film opening
- The camera work was varied and extremely creative in places
and seeing slight fault in:
- Use of titles- although the font of the titles was fine, they were often too large and this detracted from the general atmosphere of the film. Large titles were a distraction from the narrative at points, and they ruined the cinematography of our piece somewhat
- The ending was not quite perfect, with the jump cuts of the knife perhaps being too intense, putting too much focus on the knife too soon as this is only an opening sequence and not an entire film
- The Bear himself, could be given a bit more of a voice within the clip. Many people noticed that we don not see things from his perspective very often and so his character is not developed to the full extent it could be.
- There were perhaps too many camera shots, coming from a great variation of angles, the narrative could be sped up somewhat
What will we do next?
Our Media teacher will now mark our Rough Cut and we will receive further feedback on this via email. After this we will begin to consider what we will do for our Final Cut which is due after our Easter holiday. This is something which we will have 2 weeks to prepare for, film and edit, meaning that we will have to do the majority of this work in our break.
jupiterproductionsmedia.wordpress.com 
Rough Cut Feedback
Level 1 0–23 marks—The work for the main task is possibly incomplete. There is minimal evidence in the work of the creative use of any relevant technical skills.
Level 2 24–35 marks—There is evidence of a basic level of ability in the creative use of some of the following technical skills
Level 3 36–47 marks—There is evidence of proficiency in the creative use of many of the following technical skills:
Level 4 48–60 marks—There is evidence of excellence in the creative use of most of the following technical skills:
• using titles appropriately. (proficient)—titles have been used; the seem a little squashed; make sure they are used correctly (just name and job title); have the correct number of them; the opening Jupiter Production logo should come-up after a couple of seconds of the sound, stay on the screen for two seconds and then fade away; they have the atmospheric sound for a bit; then fade into the opening image of the bear; do we get the title of the movie??
• shooting material appropriate to the task set; (proficient)—the sound, mise en scene (character actions) and the use of camerawork that directly leaves the girl out of the opening shots establishes this a thriller; more could be done to establish the sinister nature of the bear.
• holding a shot steady, where appropriate; (excellent)—mostly good; some wobbles on the shot with the tea cup; consider adding a stabiliser; look on YouTube to see if this option is available on YouTube.
• framing a shot, including and excluding elements as appropriate;–(excellent) no real issues here; some shots have been brilliantly framed; however, the squeezing if titles into small areas doesn’t seem to make sense; aim for simplicity.
• using a variety of shot distances as appropriate; (proficient/excellent)—the intimacy of the shots works; however, there are too many of them (meaning, shots); this prevents the pace from really moving forward the narrative; consider axing 45 and 105; is the tea cup needed; despite saying the above, this is a real strength of this piece; the shot where the camera pans down seems to have no purpose; the shot of the girl’s lips speaking is slightly unsettling; however, this isn’t a great problem.
• selecting mise-en-scène including colour, figure, lighting, objects and setting;–(proficient)—the colour is slightly dark; the selection of props is fine; why does she leave one slice of bread in the bin under the table?
• using sound with images and editing appropriately for the task set; (proficient)—diegetic and non-diegetic sound is mostly good; there has been a lot of effort to adjust sound levels; these have been mostly blended well; however, when you listen to it with headphones, the quality of diegetic sound needs to be treated to get rid of the static; this may not be possible however; I think more can be done with sound; for example, when the tension rises with the bear talking; I think this needs to be developed and treated with upmost respect and skill. A foley was used once to signify anger/tension…make this a motif.
• editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer; (proficient)—the pace needs to pick up and shots, on the whole need to be trimmed; the actual tea part set-up could use a good edit (cut 2-3 seconds); shots, as noted above, must be deleted; the last shot cuts out too soon…we need to see her facial expressions; cur the ‘multiple close-ups of the knife’.
• using varied shot transitions and other effects selectively and appropriately for the task set; (proficient)—see above; the closing shot might fade to the title.
Overall, this is a mid proficient rough cut. There is real potential there. The main area is the editing (pace); however, the development of the sinister bear through parallel editing and reaction shots is also a way to make this sequence better reflect a thriller. Be careful, however, not to make this into a short film. Thus, think about what would happen next and where the sequence would go. As I write this, I can’t help but think of the closing image being the girl, mid decapitating the bear’s head, looking up…she has been caught in the act.
Doing some parallel editing with the mother would help develop tension. 42/60
JDU
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